Stupid Questions Tourists Have Asked At Yellowstone National Park

At what elevation do the deer become elk?

When do they turn Old Faithful on?

Are they going to cart all the snow out?

Actual complaint filed against Xanterra, whom I work for: They aren't grooming and caring for the animals well enough.

How do you get the bells on the bears? (Asked at the tourist shop about the bear bells used to keep bears away from tourists.)

Is Yellowstone closed because of the volcano?

Is there a volcano in Yellowstone?

Where do they keep all the animals?

What time does the park close?