A new year.

I am sitting at the kitchen table with wild-woman hair, pajama clad, drinking a lemon-lime slushie and having a late lunch of potato pierogi (that I made myself!!! Mrs. Hudak gave me the recipe).

It is blizzarding outside. Robert is playing computer games. I am ready to poke my head out of my funk, get back to work.

First, a shower. Then...applications.

I start school towards the end of March. I'm hoping to have a job, be completely moved to Ohio, and have a support system set up here by that time. It's a little worrying, I don't want to be so financially secure that I become a lazy body. NEVER!!! I'll definitely keep working, and working as hard as before.

Overs.

There is so much that has happened in my life during the past six months. I know some relatives read this blog so I'll be blunt here about what my life has been.

Everyone in my old life knows I sued the Seventh-day Adventist church thanks to some heavyhanded investigators that called up nearly all my old friends and informed them. (And in some cases proceeded to harass and otherwise make miserable other individuals hurt by this subject matter.) Well, it's over. I'm saying that with a sigh of relief. It is. It's over.

My lawyer recommended I keep the amount and terms I settled for private, as I tend to be quite naive and hand out money left and right to whoever asks for it.

I won't ever go back to the East Salem SDA church. I was hurt there, badly. This part of my life is over and it needs to be.

Alot of my life is toppled, but from this lawsuit my parents and I are friends again. The things that were firm, those stood. Not to say the wobbly, toppled parts are all bad, but irrefutably they are toppled and out of my life for good reason: they hurt me.

I moved to Yellowstone in March to get away from the situation. I met a boy. His name is Robert. He has crooked teeth, a moustache, curly reddish, blonde hair and the nicest smile in the whole wide wild world. Robert and I had a whirlwind romance. I settled the case on December 5th, ten days before the trial was scheduled. Robert and I were married on the 19th. I wore my dream dress by Lena Medoyeff. It is embroidered and has a cowl neck. I wore daisies in my hair. I didn't cry. My mother and father were there and they cried. My little nephew gave Robert and I the rings. I kept hugging everyone. I smiled lots.

I bought my white dress with settlement money. It's my one splurge, and hugely ironic. I get the giggles every time I wear it, twirl, and kiss my husband while I'm in it. It makes me feel very clean and pretty.

Now I am in Ohio. I'll live here while going to Eastern Oregon University online. I also have a few wonderful friends who will look at my manuscripts and give me good advice on writing. I feel really blessed. I don't know where I'm going from here. I don't know. But I am financially secure and am married to the love of my life.

I know many in my religious family (and old group of friends) are concerned that I am no longer "with Jesus." I haven't left the church to prove anything or because of God or whatever. I left because I could no longer stay. As I said in my deposition, "You don't stay with an abuser, Mr. Whittemore."

Because I have been so badly hurt by religion I ask my deeply religious, amazing, loving, sweet family and incredible friends to understand that this is something private. It's something in my life that's been fucked with, and I ask that those who love me keep their distance regarding my religion or lack of it.

I don't know how much I'll write in this, but I wanted to wave hello.

Hello, hello to those I love.