Two things to Add:

One, I’ve not knowingly told a single lie here. The Adventist church needs to look deeply at itself and put the protection of children first and foremost. They need to start reaching out to rape victims within their own communities, not just the victims in Africa.

Two, in my concrete opinion, the Adventist church is absolutely 100% NOT an evil entity. They do not deserve to be treated like a cult. When anyone encourages cruelty towards Adventist people, they’re encouraging cruelty towards people. People I love and am fighting for. It’s not right to be mean to them, and it isn’t what the majority of us victims want. Many victims are STILL Adventist. To prey on specifically eschatological Adventist fears would not be something I condone in any way, shape, or form. This is not a fear fest or witch hunt. My ends do not morally support all means. I’ll follow that old canon-thumper Paul here, when he said, “Be angry, but do not sin.” I want closure, I want these things to stop. I don’t want to destroy the Adventist church. I’m VERY angry and prejudiced, I’ve made that extremely clear. Now I’d like to make more clear the dichotomy of belief and emotion within myself.

Finally, I want to reiterate to the Adventist church, its lawyers, and insurers, that however much I may or may want to get fear in my heart and shut up, clearly, constitutionally, that’s not going to work. I don’t even think I’m capable of shutting up unless I think everyone is safe. I’m autistic like that. It’d work for maybe a year, and then I’d start jabbering truth again.

It isn’t very good or kind to threaten young raped autistic women with libel lawsuits. Bear with me, talk with me, or at least talk through letters screened through yours and my lawyer, help me to understand your side in ethical kind ways and I will listen.

To my Adventist friends and relatives who may have stumbled onto this in horror: It’s a lot to digest. I love you, and I’m pretty darn confused, too. There are no easy answers.

Finally: I’m in a tremendous amount of pain. I’m working on a book right now and throwing myself into it body and soul. It’s fantasy, silly, really, along the lines of the books I used to clutch as a little girl when Scott raped me. I’d dive into them as escape. That’s me. I’m an escape artist, but maybe out where I am, I’ll find a bridge back to all of you whom I love, I’ll find a bridge to my voice. I’ll escape out of wherever I am and back to you.